Sexy Dance Fighting

Shortly after my fiance broke his leg back in August I had Shanti from Casual Glamour contact me and offer to take photos of me since my fiance's leg was broken. Of course, I had disappeared off the face of the blogging world and didn't see the message until late last month. Luckily, she was still willing to take photos with me plus we live barely 10 minutes away from each other. She took these amazing photos of me the other day and I cannot wait until our next shoot.



hat: Salvation Army // coat: Salvation Army // cardigan: Anthropologie // dress: Urban Outfitters // skirt: Urban Outfitters // tights: Free People // socks: Free People // boots: Lost & Found Vintage // necklace: vintage

Anyone want to send me to Fashion Week?

So, I miss fashion blogging. I miss taking photos, editing them, and coming up with various print mixing outfits. When Aritzia emailed me asking if I would create an outfit wearing a pair of their bright blue pants, I said of course! A great way to get back into it!



coat: Salvation Army // flannel: Urban Outfitters // t-shirt: Lost & Found Vintage //pants: c/o Aritzia //
hat: American Apparel // boots: Lost & Found Vintage // boot straps: Etsy // necklace: Vintage

Also, let's all say "AWWWW!!!" to how much my little Buzzy Wuzzy has grown up over the past 7 months.






And of course, here's the little Luna... She's uhhh.... beautiful? Here's a close-up shot so you can appreciate her beauty.

That wasn't funny

Sorry I haven't been posting lately.... I wonder how many posts I've started out like that. It has to be at least 10 by now. I do have some things riling me up lately such as rape culture, the sexism in ice skating, and that awful Dating Fails website run by Fail Blog. Don't think I'm some spaz who just randomly thinks about the sexism in ice skating! I ice skated since I was 3 and recently started up again so that's why it has been on my mind. Plus, I was taking a break at work which means I go on Failbook or Fail Blog and felt like venturing onto one of their millions of other blogs. Don't go on Dating Fails unless you enjoy sexism, male entitlement, or rape jokes. It's disgusting. You will be reading my posts again soon. It takes me some time to get angry about a subject, think about it nonstop, type it up, edit then, read it, edit it 10 more times, make a graphic, find a quote, add more to the subject, edit it, then finally hit post. Any topics regarding feminism or equal rights that you've been interested in lately? Let me know!!!

Equal Education, Unequal Pay

I was contacted by the creators of this infographic and wanted to share it with you. Not only is it designed well, but the information is shocking yet informative. Give it a read! We need to keep on fighting for equal pay and for respect in the workplace. If we are equally educated, then we deserve equal pay!

LearnStuff.com



LearnStuff.com

I am mine!

“A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.”

― Gloria Steinem

I'm not a traditional girl/lady/woman. Whether it's the way I dress or the way I think, and I like to think all you who read my blog are non-traditional as well. When you read this blog you hear me rant about things women are "not supposed to do" and this post is to be added to that list.

Changing my last name when I get married is not an option. I think it is quite ridiculous to change your last name merely because you have married someone. Hyphenating names are okay in my book as long as the guy does it as well. Equality is the only thought that runs through my head now, but didn't start thinking about changing my last name until recent. I was probably guilty of writing my name with the last name of crushes whether it was the last name of a celebrity or the boy I sat next to in my Symphony Orchestra class. When some friends began getting engaged and changing their names, that was when I started thinking about it. Of course, this feminist passion of mine has caused me to think about it almost every day.

A few months back I was talking to my at-the-time-boyfriend-now-fiance about when he was going to propose as well as some other things... like taking his last name. I flat out told him, in the nicest way possible, that I wasn't going to take his name. He said, "Well, that's the one tradition I believe in." "Why?" I asked. "It's like we are becoming a family." As cute as his words may sound, I'm not going to let his idea of tradition dictate my views, opinions, and last name. I know why a woman is supposed to take a man's last name, and it sure-as-hell didn't start out with two becoming one. So I nicely said, "Would you take my last name?" In a slight bout of disgust he said, "No." I said, "Then what makes you think I would want to take your name?" And that was that. He knows how passionate and strong-minded I am, so there wasn't much of a discussion after that. He cannot force me to take his name, plus I put him in my shoes to understand why I wouldn't take his name. My mom never raised me to think I had to take my husband's last name, she actually wanted to keep her last name but my dad wasn't too happy about that. She gave me her last name as my middle name and felt like she had spawned a future feminist. Which ended up being true.

It was a law quite recently in some states in the U.S. where a woman was required to change her last name when she got married. I try to be calm, collected, and mature about the feminist topics I talk about, but this one on changing your last name when you get married really pisses me off. I am putting a lot of effort into not writing in caps and not swearing constantly. But the issue of changing your last name can quickly show you that feminism is a much needed movement and that women are still seen as property. Your last name is supposedly so insignificant to a man, your identity is unimportant, who you have called yourself over the past 25 years (in my case) is something to be tossed aside and changed with the signing of a document. You have given away yourself. I am mine! Not anyone else's! Nobody owns me, NOBODY is allowed to tell me what to do, how to feel, or the way I should act. I supposedly live in a country where freedom and liberty is our way of life, but apparently when I get married I need to give up my freedom and liberty just because a man wants to feel like he has control over me. And do not tell me that I am wrong, that a man doesn't want to control me or call me his property. It doesn't matter if your sweetie brings you flowers every day, calls you to tell you he loves you at random times, or writes you poems professing his undying love for you. If he expects you to change your name to his when you two get married and then becomes pissed off when you tell him that you do not want to, then there is some sort of control issue that he has. Some part of his subconscious is telling him that a man is better than a woman. He was raised in a way or has rationalized events he has experienced that taught him that. He views you as his, but doesn't view himself as yours. What does he do to reciprocate you giving up your last name?

I want to stress the importance of not taking your husband's name when you get married. It is an old tradition that all of those out there who believe in equality of the genders need to toss aside. Nothing about you is unimportant or can be replaced. It can be quite easy to make your significant other understand why you do not want to take their last name. With my fiance, it is not because I do not like it, it is because I want to keep my own identity, plus I believe in feminism and equality. Not changing your name is NOT a big deal and should NOT be a deal breaker. This person should love you no matter what your last name is.

Here comes the bride, all dressed in feminism.

“Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.”

- Irving Kristol

Sorry for the hiatus in posting. Work was stressful which really takes away from my motivation. Plus, I moved into a house so that has been hectic. HATE MOVING! And **drumroll please** my boyfriend proposed to me so we are engaged!!! Attempting to plan a wedding while moving, working, living, writing, thinking, worrying, is quite hectic. Now I know why weddings take so long to plan. We will be having ours sometime next fall, most likely toward the end of September or the first week of October.

Anyway! The last thing I want to do when I get home from a day infront of the computer is sit infront of my computer. I'm pretty sure I've said that before.... But even if it is sitting infront of the computer and writing about feminism, sometimes it can get a tad depressing. It weighs down on me having to hear about these politicians decide the health and happiness of millions of women. I don't care if it's a wrinkly old man or a young woman, I do not want anyone telling me or any woman out there how to live. Nobody should be forced to have a child they do not want just because someone else out there has an issue with abortion. Lately, these churches around my town have been posting large banners and little white crosses saying "Pray to end abortion." and "Everyday 4,000* babies are killed because of abortion." Let's get one thing straight, I DO NOT like abortion, nobody does. Even if you support it, you do not like it. You just realize the risks involved in forcing someone to have a child they do not want, the risks involved in forcing a woman with severe health issues having a child, in forcing a victim of rape or incest to have a child, etc. If someone wishes to keep their fetus/child/baby/what-have-you, that is their choice. We live in America, we believe in liberty (and if you do not know the definition, I encourage looking it up), in freedom, in equality, in opportunity, in achieving our dreams, bettering the economy, being the best at things worth bragging about. We do not believe in stifling the dreams of others based on our own beliefs and dictating someone else's life and freedoms based on our chosen way of life.
*Couldn't remember the exact number, made it up based on my foggy memory.

Driving to work one morning I saw a woman with the bumper sticker "Moms drive America." and it had Romney's website on it. I know Obama probably has a similar bumper sticker for moms. His is something like, "Obama Mama". But it really got to me and made me think that the only value I have to society is that I can bear children in a pro-life/Republican/Conservative's eyes. I will give them the benefit of the doubt and say maybe that isn't the ONLY value they see I have, but to me it feels like it's the most important one to them. I am more than that. I have had dreams that I have accomplished thanks to my education and the opportunities I was given to not have children. I am saving money to buy a house, to feed myself, pay my bills, pay for my wedding, and to help educate, feed, and take care of my future children.

Something I have been thinking about a lot is this whole thing about equality and how granting women access to free birth control will make them equal. While some are confused and yelling, "But men do not use the pill, an IUD, the shot, or Nuvaring! HOW IS THAT EQUALITY?!" Let's just settle down for a second and look at the bigger picture. Do men become pregnant? No, they cannot (unless they are trans). And that is the equality we are asking for. If one does not have to worry about becoming pregnant, then one can accomplish more in life before they sit down and decide, "Yes, I am ready to take care of one or more children." They can finish high school, go to college, get their masters degree then doctorate, travel, study, teach, learn, and overall add to the intelligence and accomplishments of society to make our country a better place. I like to think of it as "Quality, not quantity."

I know not all of those reading this blog live in America or are U.S. citizens, but hopefully you all see the importance of feminism and equality. Ignore the politicians' names and see the bigger picture and how important you can be to your family, community, city, country, and to the world. If you are religious and hold your convictions close to you, if you are spiritual in any sense, if you believe in a higher-power, if you are atheist, if you believe in evolution, or in anything or nothing at all, please realize that you cannot force your beliefs onto others and that when you try to you become the oppressor and in turn create the oppressed. You are hurting those you judge, ridicule, tease, torture, and punish, which just breeds more hatred in our world and causes deep pain. It does not create love and harmony, we travel further and further away from a happy world. It should not make you feel better about yourself to do this, if it does then I hope you one day realize the ignorance and pain you spread across the world and through the minds, emotions, and feelings of others.

Hitting it with a hammer

“Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have.”

- Margaret Mead

What do I talk about next? Do I talk about double-standards? Do I talk about why we need to consider ourselves feminists? Why you need to be a little bit angry, a little bit sarcastic, and have a big sense of humor to be a feminist (among many other things)? Why Todd Akin's statement on "legitimate rape" and "acting ladylike" is so wrong and so detrimental to equality? Why shaving is okay and not okay

Are there any topics you would like to talk about or are concerned about that you believe other women/feminists should be concerned about? Do you want to do more than just read about it over the internet? Because that seems a bit passive agressive to me. I mean, yeah, I'm causing those who read this to think about feminism and equality. Causing people to think can be a pretty powerful thing, but I also want to cause those who read this to act. Have in-person discussions with one another, but that's like going to an Anime convention and discussing why everyone around you should like Anime. It's not like these discussions with like-minded people are bad, they can cause new ideas or new ways of thinking.

Maybe I just have this urge to teach young people about feminism and equality and I can't express it because I, well, haven't created any little ones to teach yet. Yet, even that isn't really enough because it will most likely only be two little ones to teach. Are there any children's books on feminism? =) It's not only children that need to be taught these ideas of equality. I still need to be taught things, to learn new ideas, and to think differently. Do you really think there is a woman out there who has it all figured out when it comes to feminism?

I would also like to thank everyone for their comments on my posts. In the past, I used to feel like one of those crazy people on the street corner with the tinfoil hat, yelling about crazy things, and that nobody was actually listening to me. However, with your comments along with positive reactions from friends I do not feel like a lunatic anymore. Friends ask me questions about politics, tell me they love the things I post, and then I have your comments that show me there I'm causing a discussion and that people love what I am posting. I was so happy to read all of these positive comments which caused me to tear up! I will respond properly to every comment!

My Contribution to Intelligence & Self-Confidence

“You can never be overdressed or overeducated.”
― Oscar Wilde

At first, I felt silly posting an outfit post after my two previous posts on feminism. What I was wearing didn't seem as important as feminism. While in a way that may be true, it is important to me and I am guessing it is important to the rest of you, those who read my blog because fashion is how we express ourselves. If I can quote myself, "[A person's style is] the way a person physically expresses their personality whether they are aware of it or not." Some may not feel like expressing their personality using this medium, but it's how I choose to express mine.

And here are my words of encouragement for those of you who still struggle with caring what people think about you. It doesn't matter if you are 14, 25, 38, etc., our society still punishes, bullies, and judges those who are different in ANY sense. If someone is going to assume something about you merely by the way you dress, then that is their problem, not yours. The best you can do is express your personality through your speech and your actions to prove to them that it doesn't matter if your hair is an unnatural purple or a natural blonde, you can still be intelligent, passionate, powerful, self-confident, and motivated.

If you are worried that you cannot pull it off or that people will make fun of you, I will tell you that you CAN pull it off because it's how I felt months ago before I ever dyed it an unnatural color. Yes, there are people who stare, maybe they like it and don't say anything but maybe they don't and think I'm fucking insane and ugly and that my style is the worst, but I receive so many positive compliments. I was walking toward one guy who I assumed (silly me) would hate my outfit and maybe give me some type of "look," but he looked at me and said "NICE!" Or the woman who asked to take my picture because she loved my outfit and hair. Or the countless number of little kids who stare and smile, and sometimes ask, "Are you a fairy?" or "PURPLE HAIR!!!!" A khaki wearing business man who complimented the color of my hair. A 20-something guy who yelled, "WORK IT, GURL!!! YOU ROCKIN' THAT OUTFIT!" The only negative stares I receive are from high school aged girls, that's it!

There's my contribution to intelligence and self-confidence for the day. haha

Jacket c/o Romwe
Cardigan: Betsey Johnson
T-shirt: Salvation Army
Velvet Belt: Salvation Army
Skirt: American Apparel
Tights & Socks: Urban Outfitters
Boots: Lost & Found Vintage

Jewelry: Vintage & thrifted

Now for this outfit. Right before my boyfriend broke his leg, my hair was a dark blonde with a purpley pink at the ends. Then I added a little bit of pink all over, then a little bit of purple, then this dark purple. I love it! This t-shirt I scored at Salvation Army last week. Make fun of me, but I had never heard of this band but saw a signature on it. You can barely see it, but it's on the top row of teeth. Turns out it's the signature of the lead singer and that they were/are a pretty popular punk band.

Ruminations of an Annoyed Feminist

Faux-minists & the art of girl-shaming

By Courtney Burgam



Ever heard of slut-shaming? Well, meet Girl-Shaming, the newest way to make a woman feel bad about herself, but this one has something new it brings to the table. While Slut-Shaming made her feel bad about having sex, liking sex, and showing skin through the clothes she wears, Girl-Shaming makes her completely feel bad about every aspect about herself and telling her that she isn’t good enough the way she is all under the veil of Feminism. She is now shamed by those who were supposed to protect her and accept her for who she is.

My anger reaches frustrating levels at times, especially when it comes to topics such as feminism. So when I read Deborah Schoeneman’s article “Sparkly Nail Polish, Katy Perry, and Frozen Eggs: Meet the Woman-Child”, it started to anger up my blood. Even just reading the title, I knew I would be reading something that I had thought about myself ever since I began working in the corporate world. As an almost-25-year-old, I have sometimes felt like I dress too young for my age, and working in a corporate environment just exacerbates that insecurity, even if I am in a design corporate environment. Because, through the sea of khakis and plaid button-ups (the CRAZY way for a man in the corporate design industry to dress), I stick out like a sore thumb. Sitting at my desk right now, I am wearing a long white dress adorned with large pink and lilac flower. I have all-over dusty pink hair, pink tights, scrunched up socks, and roping boots on. In some ways, I am this Woman-Child, this woman who is stuck in a perpetual state of adolescence. The characteristics of this archetype of the Woman-Child are long and numerous and I may not have all the characteristics "she" has but I do have some things such as bangs, love of cats, an interest in fashion/makeup, and many more. If you would like to find out if you are a Woman-Child check out Schoeneman’s article here.

Okay, first off, what is wrong with this article is that it not only degrades the 20-somethings who enjoy fashion, cats, nail polish, hanging out with their girlfriends, etc., but it also degrades the lives of the young women that these 20-somethings are supposedly trying to emulate. It makes them feel like their interests are unimportant, that they are wrong, they need to change themselves because of the way they dress and because of their interests.

Am I going to take my future husband’s name just because I wear nail polish? Hell no. I wouldn’t take his name regardless of the paint on my fingers, the clothes on my back, or if I like cats or not. What would cause me to take his name is my understanding of equality and feminism. And what's the best part about this writer claiming I do not care for feminism because of the way I look? It's that I can argue that the reason I have taken an interest in feminism is because of my interest in fashion, just like so many of the other fashion bloggers I know. How about instead of condemning women for wearing nail polish, makeup, liking cats, wearing polka-dotted dresses, we reappropriate these things that were once considered trivial and make them something that is okay to do. Yeah, I wear nail polish BUT I still care deeply about equality, science, civil rights, getting my masters degree, etc. Making women feel bad about the interests that they believe define part of their personality and who they are is girl-shaming. And what you are doing is making a set of rules for your ideal woman to follow and that is EXACTLY what we were fighting against all those years ago. Let these women be who they want to be, but also educate them on equality. Don’t tell them how they should act. Build up their confidence with their intelligence, their talents, and their skills. And definitely do not make them feel bad because of the way they dress, it seems so counter intuative to empowering women!

You are afraid that when we are told what is a desirable trait for a woman to have, that it was made to degrade us, to take us back in time when we needed a prescription from our doctor to not have sex with our husband. No, no, no. You seem to believe being a child is a negative thing, a teenager something worse. If a woman has interests a child or teen may have, you perceive them to be a child or teen. Is a child or teen seen as an adult if they share the interests of one? I am not acting naive or stupid, I understand the importance of feminism, what women before me have gone through to make sure I had the right to vote, to wear pants, to be able to go to college, etc. What does it matter that I have glittery nails or purple hair? I do not allow men to walk over me in the office or in my personal life, I do no allow anyone to make me feel bad for being a woman, I am proud of my gender, I am a very self-confident person. So how is my love of kittens turning back the clock on feminism?

And by the logic I have deduced from that article, as soon as a teen stops being a teen meaning she is 20 or older, she is supposed to have it figured out, she is supposed to stop liking cats because she liked them as a young person. She is supposed to wear nude color nail polish AT MOST because she is no longer a teen. Only denim or slacks for this 20+ year old because tights and skirts are for little girls.

I do not want my future daughter to be relying on me, my husband, or her significant other for income, to pay the bills, to driver her around, to order her food, to cut up her steak/tofu. I want her to be independent, I want her to be inspired and ambitious, I want her to be intelligent and to do the things that make her happy. She should have an interesting personality, a passion for what she loves. I do not care if her hair is purple, blonde, ginger, rainbow, or if she wears pants or dresses. I care for her self-confidence, intelligence, education, ability to stand up for herself, and her ambition. I will not ban her from exploration or self-expression. If she feels makeup is not for her, then I will not make her feel insecure for not wearing it. If she doesn’t want to be a mother, that’s her choice. If she wants to be a doctor, a writer, or a full-time mother, that's up to her and I will not judge her for her choices. Say she decides to not go to college, I may encourage her to go, but I will not judge her and blame the nail polish on her fingers.

By the way, see the shirt in the collage? I made one, and you can too! I just went to Michael's Crafts and bought two packages of iron-on letters ($5 a piece) and purchase a plain white t-shirt from Salvation Army ($1). Once my boyfriend and I move into the house we will be renting, then we will set up our screen printing studio and I can start printing some more professional looking ones. But these iron-on letters are snazzy in their own kitschy way because the letters are velvet!!! It's extremely simple to make so I don't think doing a tutorial is necessary. Make one!!!

Feminism is a bit amazing

My quarter-life crisis & what I want to do about it.

By Courtney Burgam



“We need to reclaim the word 'feminism'. We need the word 'feminism' back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42% of British women - I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of 'liberation for women' is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? 'Vogue' by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”
― Caitlin Moran,

I'm here today to answer a question I was left in a previous post. No, feminism isn't getting a bit old. Sure, it's been around for quite some time, but that didn't seem to be what you meant. It was important back then and is important right now. We are still not paid equally, we are still not trusted with our own reproductive organs, we are still subjected to sexism, I still hear sexist jokes and double-standards and am sure you do as well. Ever hear, "You throw like a girl"? Which is typically something said to a man. It is meant to make him feel like a woman which is supposed to make him feel bad; therefore, women=bad. Ever been seen girl/woman be assertive and called a bitch? But a man can be assertive and he is praised for it? That's a double-standard. You STILL do not get paid equally to a man for the same work. You STILL are subjected to discrimination because you are a pregnant woman in the workplace.

Women before you have made it possible for you to wear pants, to earn & keep a paycheck, to not have to get permission from your husband to get a hysterectomy or a mastectomy, to vote, to have goals and dreams, to go to college/university, to not have to marry a man in order to survive. So I will say it again, and hopefully it is understood why. No, feminism isn't getting a bit old. It is not a trend. It is a social issue about the treatment of human beings. It is a civil rights issue. There will always be people who care about it. To think that it can be changed with one swift movement is naive. These things take time and you must raise multiple generations to believe that all humans are created equal. Do you think the Civil Rights Movement caused racism to go away? NO. So, do you think allowing women to vote made her equal? NO. Allowing her birth control rights? NO. None of those things have made us truly immune to discrimination. Things have improved drastically, but there is still more work to do. Many women who are now mothers to teens and 20-somethings grew up thinking everything was fine, that the playing field has been leveled probably because they compared it to the days when they were legally being discriminated against. So there seems to be this generation of teens and young adults who do not understand the importance of feminism.

Luckily, girls seem to be self empowering. Ladies like Tavi Gevinson and Arabelle Sicardi are amazing role models for young feminists, but as an almost-25-year-old, I still feel a distance from them. I'm worrying about different things at my age and feel like the reason Tavi has such a large following of non-teens is because there are young women out there striving and starving for someone to talk to about being a feminist at their age. Does Rookie tell you how to deal with sexism in the workplace? No. Because like it says on their site, it is a website for teenagers and teenagers typically do not have office jobs. What I have been thinking about lately is how to communicate with these young women and maybe convert a few into realizing that they are feminist. I have quite a few acquaintances/friends who are into feminism and each focuses on particular issues within feminism which I find absolutely fascinating and see an opportunity here to do something great with it. There's Madeline at Jean Greige who could talk your ear off with slut-shaming and harassment, there's Haley with her amazing blog on redefining body image, my mom with her 70s feminist views and stories of her experience with sexism in the workplace as well as rights women did not have even in the 80s. I want more! I want to get young women together to talk about these issues and experiences. I want to inspire more women to be feminists or to make them realize how much of a feminist they already are. So be prepared for something. I know I at least want to get these women together to inspire discussions, but I would like something that allows women (and men!) to get involved in the discussion even if they do not live in the Detroit/Metro-Detroit area.

Phew! Well, there you go. If you pulled a tldr; then that's your loss.